Murphy's Law

I think we're all familiar with Murphy's Law, but if you're not I suggest you give it some time.  Sooner or later, Murphy will rear his ugly head and demolish your best laid plans.  I do, however, think that "Law" is a misnomer... it's more of a governing principle, really.  I'll give you an example:  at work we have three printers, one of which is purposed for printing labels.  We also have two foil sealers among other various & sundry electronic equipment.  Tonight, we had scheduled three bottling parties and a wine tasting group all of which require the use of the aforementioned equipment.  The foiler malfunctioned and melted its own wiring (I'll probably never know what prompted its self-destructive tendencies) which in turn triggered an electronic chain of events that culminated with the complete failure of all of the printers.  "Whatever can go wrong will."  So there were roughly 5 cases of wine all without the custom labels and foils promised.  So far, it's only irritatingly inconvenient.  But because Murphy, not unlike distempered leprechauns, was exerting his demonic influence, we also had several guests who stayed throughout the evening, rather than leaving at 7 (closing time) which meant that we had to balance a party of 10 for tasting and several tables with a staff of 2.  To compound the stressors, we also ran out of several of the menu items. 

The thing about this evening was that I got to leave it all behind.  It's no longer my problem, indeed much of the troublesome business was resolved before I left.  I might be tempted to thumb my nose at Murphy and his blasted principles except that as I worked my magic throughout the evening I realized that he had surreptitiously infiltrated my personal life as well as my work!  Tricky devil that he is, I hardly recognize him until I'm already spun by the tail into some incomprehensible mess of a woman.

You see, for the most part I just do life.  I've got my own drama, but typically I've got the sense that I've got a good handle on reality and a pretty decent perspective on how to engage with people.  Then, every once in awhile, somebody throws off my balance.  It makes me wonder exactly how stable I actually am.  It also concerns me that my version of reality is perhaps not as rational as I'd like it to be.  The question is this:  what do you do when you've become the person that you never thought you could be?  What do you do when you're not even sure what you feel or what's real?  And why the hell is Murphy so interested in messing with us!

My Politics

It's an election year, which means that I'm once again faced with the dilemma that democracy presents.  My friends, I am deeply conflicted about more than a few of the issues forming my ballot, and if you have got the time to read, I'd like to explain.

I fervently believe in the right of the American people to voice their collective opinions via the democratic electoral system.  I believe that it's good and right that individuals choose how and by whom they will be governed.  Frankly, I also believe that there exists reasonable biblical precedent to defend that statement.  I respect and honor the tradition of American justice that protects my right to vote, and as such I take my responsibility to participate in democracy very, very seriously.  I vote, and I work to be informed so that I cannot abdicate my right through the lame excuse of ignorance.

Perhaps it's because I am so firm in my stance upon voting that I am particularly conflicted about the implications of my vote.  The big two are California's Prop 8, and the presidential election.  

Prop 8 - I have to say that I'm relieved that this isn't a cut and dry "If you're a Christian, you vote yes" issue for many of my friends.  Certainly it is black and white for some people, but I think we've crossed a threshold of sorts in this current generation.  It seems to me that we've begun to understand that morality simply can't be enforced by laws.  These United States uphold constitutional measures that reflect the values of the people, not define them.  The changes I want to see in society will never be made through legislature... they'll always be made on an individual basis.  So, for me, this is not a matter of legitimizing homosexuality, it's a matter of reflecting how Californians view the rights of all mankind.  I've enjoyed the statement "If you don't like gay marriage, don't get one," and I've appreciated the perspective of many of my more conservative friends that marriage is a sacred institution.  In this sense, I think the proposition has been clarified for me.  Sacraments are strictly spiritual, proprietorially speaking.  The State has no business defining an institution as sacred, or not.  It can only go so far as to make a legal standing available without discerning eligibility.  It is the business of the church to determine the boundaries of such a sacrament (and I question the modern American church's ability to do so).  My concern here is that defying such a proposition as 8 will effectively provide an umbrella to lionize those private institutions that limit the eligibility of a particular sacrament.  So the question becomes one of foresight rather than strict ethics.  Do you share in this dilemma?

And now for the presidential candidates - what a crap shoot.  It's like asking, "Would you prefer to have your left eye put out, or your right?  Would you rather scoop out your spleen with a spork or a tuning fork?  Would you more enjoy sitting on molten lava or the surface of the sun?"  Do you see my point?  Damned if you do, indeed.  Barack Obama and John McCain are equal evils, they simply differ in variety.  Both of the candidates promise a future of 4 years of corruption and war, unrestrained greed for power and lust for money, defiling of the American image on a global stage, haphazard care for the disadvantaged on domestic soil all at the cost of taxpaying, idealistic American citizens.  Have we not hoped for men and women of character to run this country?  Have we not desired that the collective interests might speak louder than fiscally-endowed special interests?  Have we not longed for the betterment of our society?  Have not all of our presidents and their posses failed to deliver a suitable answer to our pressing questions?  We are at preemptive war, still.  Our reputation as a just super-power is tainted by imperialism and our children are just as hungry as they've ever been.  The right-wingers swear it's the consequence of morally-depraved, back-slidden whore-mongering Democrats and the left-wingers confidently assert that our bumbling, backwoods President has lead us astray.  I say that you're both mistaken - the failure of democracy to provide for the needs of America lies solely within the failure of every politician's character.  The moment your own interests and advancement displace the needs of "Joe the Plumber" you have forsaken your right to govern.  

So then, for whom do I vote?   Has jaded realism really overcome the promise of democracy's ideology?  I suppose I should come up with an answer before November 4.  In the meantime friends in California, please visit this website for a synopsis of the issues at hand:

http://www.smartvoter.org/sv/2008/11/04/ca/state/prop/

Other visitors, be well and feel free to feed back!

I Think I'd Like to Move...

to Portland, Maine.  It's very far away from here, but when you think upon it - it's also very close to there, and somewhere in my mind I always want to be there.  

I found this image at the link below.  Check it out yo.

http://www.portlandmaine.com/

I'd Like to Tell You a Story

But before I do, does anyone else think the rules for titular capitalization are peculiar? That has nothing to do with the actual purpose of this post which you will discover, if so inclined, upon reading the text that immediately follows this nonsensical sentence.

More than a couple years ago I worked at a non-profit organization in Virginia.  I had been there for a year and a half when my boss' wife and the wife of another co-worker went into labor on the same day.  The same day, in the same hospital both of these ladies began a tortuous process of delivering their babies with a singular difference: Neil's wife was doing so with the knowledge that her baby was not healthy.  Only a few hours before being admitted the doctors realized that Neil's baby girl was in critical condition.  Forgive me for not remembering the details (such as Neil's wife's name)... this was years ago and I was close to this couple neither before, during, nor after the birth of their child.  David's wife Julie, by contrast, had carried her child to term perfectly and delivered a marvelously well-formed baby boy.  The progeny entered our world only several hours apart and after a few prayer-filled, tear-stained days Neil's daughter grew stronger until she was out of danger.  Together we celebrated the providential healing of one child, but almost simultaneously we found that Dave's son, Caden was not altogether well.  He was taken to the hospital where it was learned (over the course of several days) that he had swelling on his brain that only a permanent shunt would alleviate the pressure and allow him to develop.  I remember being captivated by the range of emotions in both sets of parents, and us - their community as we suffered and rejoiced, alternately, with all of them.

I remember this because last night, two babies were being born mere hours apart... Daniel and Charlene brought Emogen to us while Brian and Dora were busy birthing their child.  Charlene was released from the hospital this evening, but Dora was in danger for some hours while doctors addressed her precariously low blood-pressure.  Two children, starting life under vastly different circumstances, hold all the promise of hope in their tiny hands.  

I know I've been curiously devoid of humor these days, but forgive me please - sometimes life seems to bring these serious circumstances about and I'm apt to put aside mirth in favor of considering the chain of events.  I certainly can't say what any of it means, I just believe more and more that we must be correlated to something beyond ourselves; that our God, our Yahweh, our "Other" exists not simply to provide some confidence of intersubjectivity, but to give us a tangible fragment of eternity that we cling to together.  

Jennifer Sasser and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Espresso Machine.

You see immediately above this text a simple, innocuous machine.  Stainless steel, simple operating functions, standard espresso brewing form - it all looks so innocent yes?  No.  What you see above is the image of promise turned plague.  I thought to myself, "Self, I enjoy espresso and steamed milk far more than I enjoy a regular cup o' joe, and this particular indulgence is becoming costlier than I care to admit.  Is there, perchance, any solution that would allow me to get my fix while driving down the ever rising costs of frivolous affectations?"  The answer was yes!  An investment in a decent espresso machine would pose a one time bulk fee, but would result in a lifetime of savings.

I shopped around, considered my lifestyle and anticipated future mobility and finally selected a machine that would prove flexible and durable over the course of my next few years of life.  The Breville Cafe Roma was supposed to be the answer to my coffee query.  Supposed to be.  I got a whole 2 lattes out of the blasted thing before it triggered some electrical malfunction in our house.  Before I digress into a stream of gripes, let me just say that I do not think it's unreasonable to expect that there might be some consistency between home electrical wiring standards and home appliance wiring standards.  Apparently my version of reason is not palatable to the common espresso machine industry.  At any rate, I returned the machine and am now hunting for another... all the while paying exorbitant amounts for my fix.  Welcome to the life of an addict...

Caution! Graphic Content

Sometimes when I can't sleep I read cracked.com.  I'll warn you ahead of time - it's not for the faint of conscience.  Crass, inappropriate and often insulting, cracked.com is the least politically correct website I've ever seen.  It's like onion.com, but more honest... and it's hilarious.  Well, tonight I ran across a little ditty that revealed some of the worst dating sites on the web which ranged from inmates to crazies (they're for real, too), but the one that left me dumbfounded was a site intended for people afflicted with STDs.  I am in no way mocking those whose actions have rendered them plagued by, well, plagues - it's just that the author of the post noted that the vast majority of profiles on the STD site were of people who were insanely attractive.  I haven't verified his claim, but it occurred to me that there is a logical flow worth examining:

1.  Attractive people who are prone to promiscuity contract diseases at a higher rate than ugly people who can't find "partners."

2.  Many of these diseases can, if left untreated, result in sterility.

3.  If disease ridden lookers are left to mating each other, then it follows that at least one of the pair has a higher than average chance of being infertile.

4.  Attractive people are possibly procreating at a lesser frequency than the uglies

5.  Pretty genes are not propagating

6.  Promiscuity could be lowering the attractiveness of the human race exponentially

I can only conclude that if these trends continue, we will all be dog-butt ugly within two generations.  Therefore I implore pretty people: LOCK DOWN!

I need to go to sleep now, but not before I research the sexual appetites of smart people - if we become ugly & dumb there may very well be no hope for our future.

ZsaZsa Some More!

I'd like you all to meet Zsa Zsa Bullock... the newest member of our ultimate girlie household is here and loving life.  She's 8 weeks old, as sweet as can be and can't get enough of us - which is really all I ask.  

Geez Louise

At this very moment I'm winding down from my evening, preparing my sweet little head for slumber.  I'm a wee bit wound up because tonight I attended my ten year high school reunion.  I had been hit upside the head with a migraine this morning (it's about my second one ever - they are TERRIBLE) and every fiber of my being wanted to save 30 bucks and just stay in.  Alas, as I've never been very trusting of my inner voices I decided to make the 5 mile trek to downtown Modesto and brave the social elements.  Within moments of walking in the door I wanted to leave... my healthy self-talk dwindled to a murmur, then a mumble, then a merest hint of whisper until I simply couldn't hear it.  All those grandiose ideas of my having lived life well (see two posts below) were not only irrelevant, they seemed hopelessly naive and idealistic.  As a wise man once said, hopes and dreams might get you out of bed in the morning, but they don't keep you warm at night, and they sure as the devil don't pay the rent.  Nevermind the fact that I overheat while I sleep and my rent's pretty cheap (thank you Cathy), hopes and dreams also don't buy you street cred when you're called upon to validate your last decade of existence.

Here's the kicker - I saw some people that I really enjoy, made some promises to keep in touch (some of which I intend to fulfill), and even refrained from making a fool of myself... but at one point I walked away to respond to a text message and as I stood there alone, I looked around and realized that my life - in whatever form it takes - is independent from these things.  My friends, whom I love and by whom I am loved - they weren't there with me...  I had a profound sense of freedom, knowing I could walk away and go be with people that fit in my life.  And so I left.  I took in my surroundings and, in that moment, cut my ties with the past in order to grab onto the present and hope for the future.  And I left, albeit without my 30 bucks - but at this moment I think that what I lost in cash money, I gained in wisdom.

Here's hoping, sports fans... until next time...